The Russian Vers The Redneck Wrestler

A RUSSIAN AND A REDNECK WRESTLER WERE SET TO SQUARE OFF
FOR THE OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL. BEFORE THE FINAL MATCH, THE
REDNECK WRESTLER'S TRAINER CAME TO HIM AND SAID, "NOW,
DON'T FORGET ALL THE RESEARCH WE'VE DONE ON THIS RUSSIAN.
HE'S NEVER LOST A MATCH BECAUSE OF THIS 'PRETZEL' HOLD HE
HAS. WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT LET HIM GET YOU IN THAT HOLD! IF
HE DOES, YOU'RE FINISHED"; THE REDNECK NODDED IN
ACKNOWLEDGMENT.

AS THE MATCH STARTED, THE REDNECK AND THE RUSSIAN CIRCLED
EACH OTHER SEVERAL TIMES, LOOKING FOR AN OPENING.

ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE RUSSIAN LUNGED FORWARD, GRABBING THE
REDNECK AND WRAPPING HIM UP IN THE DREADED PRETZEL HOLD. A
SIGH OF DISAPPOINTMENT AROSE FROM THE CROWD AND THE
TRAINER BURIED HIS FACE IN HIS HANDS, FOR HE KNEW ALL WAS
LOST. HE COULDN'T WATCH THE INEVITABLE HAPPEN.

SUDDENLY, THERE WAS A SCREAM, THEN A CHEER FROM THE
CROWD AND THE TRAINER RAISED HIS EYES JUST IN TIME TO WATCH
THE RUSSIAN GO FLYING UP IN THE AIR. HIS BACK HIT THE MAT WITH
A THUD AND THE REDNECK COLLAPSED ON TOP OF HIM MAKING THE
PIN AND WINNING THE MATCH.

THE TRAINER WAS ASTOUNDED. WHEN HE FINALLY GOT HIS
WRESTLER ALONE, HE ASKED, "HOW DID YOU EVER GET OUT OF
THAT HOLD? NO ONE HAS EVER DONE IT BEFORE!"

THE WRESTLER ANSWERED "WELL, I WAS READY TO GIVE UP WHEN
HE GOT ME IN THAT HOLD BUT AT THE LAST MOMENT, I OPENED MY
EYES AND SAW THIS PAIR OF TESTICLES RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY
FACE. I HAD NOTHING TO LOSE SO WITH MY LAST OUNCE OF
STRENGTH I STRETCHED OUT MY NECK AND BIT THOSE BABIES JUST
AS HARD AS I COULD."

SO THE TRAINER EXCLAIMED, "THAT'S WHAT FINISHED HIM OFF!"

"NOT REALLY. YOU'D BE AMAZED HOW STRONG YOU GET WHEN YOU
BITE YOUR OWN NUTS."

Thanks Richard, this is way too funny...What the hell I used this move to get away from that want-a-be golf course cop, I think his name was Brossard, he drove around on a motorcycle.